Sunday, October 31, 2004
tis weird...
strange...i seemed to have lost a set of notes that i printed...WtF..!!? hmmm oh well i'm not going to print it out again. i'll prob read the notes that i've compiled from my computer screen...SAVE PPR!! SAVE THE TREES!! hahah..nah i'm jus too lazy... =)
anyway it's almost 2am but i'm still mugging. been distracted during the evening so i have to make up for lost time =p tomorrow's my first day of exams, maybe tat's why i can't bring myself to sleep as well. hahah even yesterday night i couldn't sleep. sigh...
hmmm going to get more work done before i jump on my bed and attemp to sleep.
hai~ PR ppr...and then...SOCI!! JIA YOU!!!!!!
bleah...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 1.48am)
renzi kissed and swore @
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singapura oh singapura...
hahaha the weather's getting much better so i'm glad. another thing that i'm glad for is that i'll be going back to spore! whoo!!! after much deliberation, thought i wanted to come back for xmas and chinese new year (after all i can get the money, who wouldn't wanna come back)
i was just thinking of doing something different. maybe this year, instead of keeping the money to myself, i'll either donate it all the charity or...give it all to my mum *gulp* i'll tink about that, anyway i still have 2-3 months to tink about that big act.
=) hmm was...actually am still talking to huiling and we were talking about having this gathering again. last year i still remember bringing them all to settler's cafe and we had fun playing games and catching up. i took sooo many photos but it was all wiped out because of my #*&*(@&$( computer. anywayyss i'm going to make that up. will take even more photos when i see those amazing bunch again!!
hmm we were also talking about the xmas deco in orchard road. we both agreed that well the xmas deco is getting from bad to worse. we shall see about this year when i go back. i suppose once i go back, i'll be greeted by changes in the hustle and bustle of the busy city. =) (and i'm not only referring to the deco that would extend from one end of orchard road to the other)
well ... as i was saying i stil prefer the deco when i was younger, when i would be amazed at the lights, colours and just the mood and festivity that was in the air. gone were the days when going out was a treat for me, and begging my parents to bring me to orchard road =) well when i go back, i shall walk down orchard road (tat's what i love to do) by myself or friend (doesn't matter) and well reminise.... heheh
another place that i would realy love to go...chinatown. that place really reminds me of mama for some reason. i wanna go there, maybe walk around, take photos (act like a tourist hehe) and maybe visit my grandma's friends and try to converse with them in my broken cantonese =)
sigh... in a melancholic mood and severely distracted. jus thinking about my hometown, my kanpung (oops dunno how to spell)...hahah
before that...guess i'll get back to work...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 2.57pm)
i lost an hour to daylight savings..sniffles...now it's a 3 hour diff from spore...bleah...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, October 30, 2004
blogger's slow sometimes
hahaha i tried to log into blogger yesterday but it was SOOO slow i grew even more tired. sooo... =) i went to sleep. two buggers were asking me to sleep so...hahh i HAD to oblige...hee...
was talking to jon leong and adrain and was telling them hoow much i wanted to go back. =)
anyway today's PR day...i'm done with the text so i'll prob look at the other text and attempt to...plough through the information. bleah...
i hate exams. and it makes it worse because i noe i passed all the subjects already...hahah
oh well..
time to go...~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 10.56am)
HAVIN CRAVINGS NOW...chicken rice...mmm..stupid sharon lah! hahah talk about chicken rice....now i'm having cravings basket. like machiam pregnant woman!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, October 29, 2004
4 sleeps of hour
yeap...i had four hours of sleep..but it was not good sleep. bahhh after less than 2 hours of sleep, kelvin called and said there may be a potential housemate for me. jiarong, rachel, kelvin and this other gal came into the house to check out the place.
then i went back into sleep only to be awoken by andrew asking me about some chair. ()$@)(#
hahha well woke up finally at about 7.30 for my first meal of the day... well the roti prata and cake in the morning isn't counted! hahahah =[
bleah....time to study again...ULGH...
i can't wait to sleep again...
oh well time to eat medicine...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 9pm)
i'm feeling much better (from my flu, i'll be going to the gym in no time! wheeee)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Topic: You are DAM, You are LOSA…
Time: 12.22pm
It’s silent at seascape street. Danny’s out, alvina’s out and graham’s minding his own business. Well the surprise for charms was a success! Although alvina and myself were the seeming losers for the day. Hahah
we had to wake up at about 6.45 to brush up and leave for SEF. charms had to pick jason up from the airport so that gave us time to set up (actually it was only the computer, for the video presentation). we were the third to arrive after winson (who apparantly ran to SEF, because he tot he was late) and christie. more ppl streamed in as we continued to sit there.
the guest of honour, charms, was slightly delayed. actually very much delayed because of the traffic etc, so we ended up waitin till 9ish. in that span of 2 hours, we chatted, cooked prata, laughed about charms' cooking-"turn over a new leaf", and stoned. kee gave us a missed call so we ran to our positions. =p only to wait for another missed call which signalled the arrival *Drum ROLLLLL***
alvina and myself hid in SM's room while the rest surprised one of my YAYAs. =) we waited for the cue (which was our voices in the presentation) to light the sparklers. just when we were about to finish lighting every single sparkler, ttwo things happened at the same time. just when the two of us (in the presentation) exclaimed "we are dumb, we are loser!" (in the HK accent), the fire alarm was let off. =p how apt..
how loserfied is that?? hahhahaa
but yeah... we panicked and ran out of SM's room but the timing was just right. she cut her cake and we chilled in her place for a while before everyone had to go to school, go back home etc.
heheh hope charms liked her little surprise thing =) heheh
and i'm sure she'd enjoy her day, with her darling right? =)
hahaha.... anyway yesterday the "errands" that i had to do were to collect the cake, buy flowers and groceries. =) tat's why i was late for my apt, and that's why alv and i had to leave HG cafe (our not-so-'frequent' hangout) and pretend that we had to do certain respective tasks. =) heheheh i still remember before we parted (hahah machiam like we broke up), i told her "hey charms, in case i dun see you tomorrow, happy birthday in advance" and hugged her. how sweet is tat? hahah and for lit sturdents, it's a dramatic irony as well hehehe
okok...time to go study prob one more chapter before i catch up on my sleep. i need it. slept at 4+ and had to wake up at 6+ =(
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 12.36pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
bah
was very late for my my doc's apt...hahahah anyway i'm back in the muiss lounge. waitin for alv to go back with her. hahaha finally got my errands done and...sigh...i can't believe kee is DONE WITH EXAMS....bleah1 i haven't even started! darn it!!!!
=(
anyway i shall get more work done today, will not procrastinate. oh ya tomorrow's charms', giap how's and weiliang's birthday. will call them up tomorro to wish them a happy birthday. wll for weiliang i need to get his number from UK. anywan can help me? =p
sigh...time to go...maybe slack around before I WAGE WAR AGAINST MY BOOKS!
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 5.29pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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yawn
i can't myself to wake up earlyyyyy..bahhhhh....think it's because i sleep too late..ok i shall sleep by 12 tonight... =) arggghhhhh....i'm way behind scheduel.....i have to finish up 4 chapters of soci....imposssibbblllleeeee....... nono....impossible is nothing! hahahahaha
i'm talking rubbish all the time nowwww...hahaha anyway today will be *SURPRISE SURPRISE* studying agin. hope i wun start chatting with anyone today, like weiqiang or shaun because i need to study! maybe i won't come online for the weekend. we shall see...hehehe
time to go...although my eyes are half-shut, i SHALL MUG!!!!!! (tat din make sense)
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 10.10am)
renzi kissed and swore @
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peaceful it is..
hmm i jus did a little bit of studying to make myself feel better for dozing off for a good 3 hours. =P had a chat and did stuff with alv before i told her i needed to study...anddd....i went to sleep. BAH good...renee u good!!!
hahah anyway didn't do much other than attempt to break my record of sleeping for 3 hours (as a nap) and ... bleah... i'll prob be going to sleep soon.
hehe was evidently distracted by shaun and weiqiang, who kept me awake for quite a while. i'm supposed to be sleeping now! it's my bed time now!!!
hahaha i can't wait to see them both when i go back. shaun was "naggin" at me for not using proper lighting facilities while...weiqiang HAD to tease me about the past. wat's wrong with asking for a person's number eh eh?? tacky but hey at least i had the guts! hahah i was young and foolish then.hahahah nah lah i just thought he was cute so somehow i chatted up with him...and *sheepish grin* got his number. we went out...tat sounded wrong, ok we hung out for quite a bit till we stopped toking to each other for a while. yeah thank God for ICQ and yeah i kinda like started to talkin to him again. he hasn't changed nor aged. still the boyish dude i knew 5 years ago. my my...was that a long time. i miss secondary school dayssssss....
hahah and i miss hanging out with weiqiang. =)
well he's waitin for me to come back so i can pass him his wine.bleah! see whether i got money first lah..sigh... i'm broke...MAMA I WAN MONEYYYYY!!!
yes ramblings of a sick gal. think i'm dyinggggggg... sniff... the difficulties in breathing, the clogged up throat with green phelgm... why am i so sickly?????
sniff...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 2.41am)
if i die...tell my mama, my papa, my pet goldfish, my dead hamster, my beloved 6510 that i gave to uncle, my bed, my red clothes...that i love them....
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
die diee......
i'm so FCUKed for the exams....(hahha jus another glam way to put it)
sigh...was supposed to study today but i ended up sleeping for about 3 hours...argh! help! diee dieee....
and after dinner , which is now, i feel quite breathless.. hope it's not the medicine. thank god i'm going back to the doctor's tomorrow. meanwhile i'm using my inhaler. hope i dun die in my sleep. =p
hahahha...
anyway time to study...two chapters more!! renee you can do it!!!!!
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 10.28pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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post-lunch activity
hmm...jus had a jam toast with ham and a bowl of soup... that's lunch i guess. supposed to have lunch with alv but tink she's in sch so...hahah
going to study again. i'm so tired of studying lah...after like 3 days! bahhh...hellppppppp.... sniffles...
going to see another doctor tomorro, for another prob. and well today's going to be jus studying. too bad the weather's a bitch, if not i would definitely go to school to study.
aikz...too many distractions at home. food....foooddd...and more food.
all i'm tinking about is sleeping n eating. that's a pig's life for u...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 12.26pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
wat sorta medicine is this.
i jus dropped by the pharmacist to collect my medicine before going for a swim with alvina. and guess wat? the box of the antibiotics states boldly "AVOID EXCESSIVE SKIN EXPOSURE TO SUNLIGHT AND SUN-LAMPS WHILE UNDERGOING TREATMENT WITH THIS MEDICINE". it got me a little worried so i opened the box and read the the consumer medicine info.
apparently, i can develop/get
- a bad case of diarrhoea
- skin rash, itching, redness or severe sunburn due to the exposure of sunlight "between 10am to 3pm"
- oral thrush !!! ("white furry sore tongue and mouth")
- vaginal thrush ("sore and itchy vagina and/or discharge")
- nausea
-vomiting
- loss of appetite
-darkened skin.
MAN!! it worries me to eat or complete this antibiotics man. aikz!
bleah...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 5.09pm)
jus had breakfast and lunch...feel like sleeping but....my hair's wet...bleah
renzi kissed and swore @
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i'm soooo excited!!!!
hahahah i'm so excited to go back because i'll be preparing for persis' birthday bash, with her boyfriend! =) WHEEE it's going to be so much fun and i just can't wait.
somehow i've lost interest in studying for my exams...hahah i'm so so distracted, not to mention dead. hehe i've got bears in my stomach, not butterflies already HAHAHHA...
hmm i think i've got cramps. funny. i just had my period. basket. either my body's REALLY slow or there's something wrong with me. (not AGAIN???)
okay...time to go to study...then i'll prob be swimming later with alv. whee! hahah we discussed already. when she comes back, i'll go visit her in her condo and exercise together. =)
lalalalalallala.....
so many things to look forward to now...WHEE!!!!!! and oh ya the people i wanna meet up individually. let's see......
church:
- anne
- danielle
- jingxi
- derong
primary school:
meiting
secondary school:
- christina (4C)
- eemin (4C)
- alvin (4C)
- huiling (4C)
- layhoon (4C)
- max (4C)
- aileen (toots)
- pam (toots)
- mrs chng (toots)
- mrs loh (toots)
- raymond (toots)
- derrick (er...no category...2B?)
- cat (sentosa/band)
- xiuying (sentosa/band)
- maybe kang wei HHHAHAHA (hey my all-time and long-time crush leh..i shy HAHAHA)
- mr fong (band conductor)
JC:
- jon teo (aa2)
- gao (aa2)
- xh (aa2)
- rena (aa2)
- maria (aa2)
- nicole kuan (aa2)
- andrew (aa2)
- yiling (aa2)
- joel koh (i have no idea how i met him..mutual friends?)
- shaun (sama sama)
- paul (mutual friends)
- neil (brother yang)
- dom (mutual friends, ex)
- melvin (...)
- weiliang (mutual friends)
- aik ming (hahahha my first friend in ac i tink)
work:
wee, izzy, grace
Cousins:
persis, lolo, honfei, jon
Dunno how i met them (dunno wat category):
- alvin yuan
- koh
- ryan ong
- rencong
- jason
- eeqiang
- jingyi
- uncle aloy
- weiqiang
- william
people i would LOVE to meet individually but...dun tink will have to chance because of reasons
- ian lim
- joe barrymore (i really miss him man!)
- june
- keng siong
- king mun
- maisie
- mingfen
- remle
- suilee
- sok ying
- thomas
- tim
- utak
- ying ying
OH MY GOSh...after listing down the ppl...ermmm....think tat will keep me occupied for my whole 3 months...hehehe =)
wheee...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 11.03am)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, October 25, 2004
death...
hahah i was just thinking about this morbid topic when i thought of writing something to the people i love. i did just that and it was short and sweet for all the entries. =) hahhaa i'm thinking, if i do live to about wat 40? 50? i'll prob have sooo many entries for many diff individuals. heheh
getting sleepy again. i just had a nap from about 5 to 7 but i'm still sleepy...ARGH! wat's wrong with me...........................................
time to study NOW!
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 9.41pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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chanel's finally gone.
=) she's gone!!! wheeeee!! well she deserved it. i mean she was the worst of the lot and she can't possibly be that lucky all the time. somehow i dun understand why the judges are so mesmerised by her...well the male judges...maybe.....she slept with them? hahaha
one thing for today..why did they invite hilary duff just to 'interview' her for just five minutes? i thought it was a complete waste of time. i mean either that, make her sing at least one song. bah
anywayyy i'm going to get some work done because i dozed off after typing the previous entry..heheh =)
my stomach's growling bt i had dinner already. it's feeling VERY uncomfortable and bloated for some reason. bahhh...
sigh..i need to start running! or well going to the gym because i've no stamina AT ALL. imagine huffing and puffing after just walking up one bloody flight of steps! argh
okok..time to run...no not run...er...go...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 8.56pm)
i must add...i killed another spider! =)
renzi kissed and swore @
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hungry...
i'm hungry again. i had lunch at about 3 and i'm still hungry. amazing. hahah =)
well i'm finally done with com2417...there are no exams for this stupid subj so..WHEE!!! now i can concentrate on my 3 other subjects. i'm alittle worried though. i dun wanna get any Ps, and of course no failures this sem. hmm with my grades now, i am speculating i'll get...2Ds and 2Cs...we shall see *crosses fingers*
hmmm jus went to see a doctor today again. but i forgot my card so...hahah i tink i'll go down tomorrow to collect the medicine. hehe
tired...sleepy...my bed's calling meeeee....
nono...i shall study~~~~ zzzzz
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 4.56pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, October 24, 2004
Australian Idol
today's show was better than the previous shows i reckon. the top 5 aussie idol finalists took turns to sing and my my....casey and anthony were the best of the lot
chanel was horrid as usual. i mean she has nothing else to pull out of her bag of tricks. her moves are cheezy, her song choice was bad, she coulnd't bring out the song, anddd she has the cheek to have the saucy i-wanna-go-to-bed-with-you MEOW look...oh come on! she'll definitely be in the botton three this week
anthony anthony..what can i say. he was good, as usual. he sang and portrayed his, as wat dicko would kindly put it, "masculine" side. he reached his high notes, he was strong and i'm quite sure he would stay in the comptetition for at least this round. watever it is...vote for him!!!! call 1902-55-55-62... yeap... i won't be because i'm counting on his other fans, like me to vote for him (i'm a wee bit broke) hahhaa
casey donovan was good. in fact although she sounded rough in some parts of the song, she managed to salvage it and get a touch-down from holden! impressive for a 16 year old kid! has great talent, vocals and quite a strong fan base. pity she's a little too big. don't think she'll market as well as the rest. hey tt's reality! if u wanan support her, do dial 1902-55-55-63...wheee
courtney should also just leave. although he has the approachable nice-guy touch to him, i don't think he's cut up for it. i mean his song choices are always so similar, just like chanel (but he doens't get on my nerves). also, his voice is pretty rough and too low for a pop-idol icon. this week, he went off key quite a few times and my my... he was VERY weak in his chorus...definitely in the bottom 3 this week
hayley...the closet sex kitten...mEOw... well she's good, can reach her high notes, and she's quite a babe....BUT only thing is she's VERY STIFF...she needs to lighten up. someone pass her some alcohol! cheezy moments when she reaches her out her hand singing "HIGH" and she emphasizes her "high" too much, it made me feel sick. and she seemed to be screaming in the mike. relak lah girl!
hhmmmm tat's my two cents worth... =)
time to finish up my essay..dum dee dummm
renzi kissed and swore @
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weird feeling...
i'm feeling...different.
hahah i feel like i'm floating (my gosh i sound like dory...for some reason). i seem to be experiencing a feeling that i haven't had sleep in days (the i'm-so-high-on-no-sleep feeling) arggh..i hate the floaty feeling. i feel like plunging back to my bed but...my books beckon. sniff
bahhhh....
hahha was just reading my previous blog entries (i'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms here) and i came across this entry when i mentioned i was looking forward to chinese new year's eve. hahha i can't wait to go back for the annual chilling session with karen in tampines starbucks. it has become a tradition already. one more thing i'm looking forward to is the letter =) i suggested we wrote a letter to each other. so after a year's time we would see how, maybe things would change etc....exciting time to look forward to, not to mention to work towards to (my studies tat is)
i can't wait...i can't wait...!!
heheh anyway i'm experiencing something else also. i'm a wreck of nerves for some reason i can't point my finger at. ARGHHHH !!! i've been feeling nervous for the past 2 hours. damn it! i'd better not get it for the whole day, or week!! ARGH! i dun wanna feel nervous! i really need to exercise. too much pent up frustrations, nervousness, sadness, happiness...BAHHH!!!!
hmmm okay..i'd better go... something else to look forward to after the exams
1) beach outing with e gals (daryl, oakz, maggie, alv, charms)
2) party (it's an all-girl's thing! just before i leave)
3) clubbing...!!!
4) meet up with eemin...oops... he's been complaining.
5) packing my room
6) doing some last-minute shopping, maybe even more shopping for myself! wheee
7) brazilian wax!
8) a surprise...wheee
9) drinking session(s?) with no7
i can't tink of anything else...that's my short term plans for aus. OH OH...26 more days before i fly back...
=)
dum dee dum...
ARGH i'm still feeling damn nervous! wat's wrong with me!
~wish upon a star, ***renzi who wans to exercise desperately (it's 11.28am)
renzi kissed and swore @
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my sore throat's back with a vengeance!
bahhh..stupid throat is hurting again. darnnn..thought gone were the dayssssss....sniff...hmm did i eat my medicine already? *ponder* tink i did...
anyway today's going to be simple. i'm going to finish up the assignment in the afternoon and for now and after idol...i'm going to concentrate on PR...
yeap...tat will be my boring day....dum dee dum....
tink i'll prob go to school to see a doc if i'm still feeling like tat..sigh....more money gone to medicine...i'd better recover! =p
bleah
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 10am)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, October 23, 2004
"hardship build character"
for those oldies...or relatively older students *gasp* (i'm in that category already...sniffles), this quote may ring a bell. hahah chen hoe kept saying that for a while...hahah memories...
anyway... i shall adopt that saying....in my quest to stop reading blogs. it's hard because i've been sucked into being nosey and being informed for my own selfish reasons. BAH i need to stop for the time being, like my previous exam periods and stick my own nose into my own shit and no one else's shit. tht means ...*ponder* i'll be less smelly? no more humyu? hahahahahha oops...inside joke..wheee
i'm high...hahah think i'm recovering. let me let anyone in on a secret...shh.....food actually does wonders! hehe i decided not to coop myself at home and think about... well stuff, instead, i opted to go for a simple 4-course meal with 3 lovely (*cough*) people at my favourite chinese restaurant, new royal garden.
we had 2 fish dishes (one steamed fish & another tofu & fish with mushrooms claypot dish), 1 spare-ribs dish and......asparagus.....my first time eating it. aiks. hahaha i didn't let them know but well it's always good to eat something new, aint it? =)
we were talking about our studies, the boys (drew n ivan) were bitching about some tutor, and the girls were being nice and maybe PRish and were listening, attentively i must add!!! hahaha
we joked about ivan sleeping with one of the waitresses in exchange for our 'extravagant' moment (eating TWO fish dishes...yummm), and drew with the male manager *GASP* hahahha it was quite a simple, nice eat-out with good company =)
we then proceeded to air stream cafe. we got distracted on our way and took 3 pathetic photos in one of those instant IC-photo booths =) heheheh will show the photos later.... we ordered our respective drinks and alvina and i jus chatted and chatted, while the guys silently smoked their lungs away. i think the both of us are pretty morbid. hahaha i shall elaborate further in one of my blog entries in the future.
anywayyzzz....we went home and I DID SOME MORE STUDYING... heheheh yay! progress is quite good. tomorrow morning, i shall get more work done and finish up my essay at night. WHEE!!!!!!! it has indeed been a productive day. i feel so much better, not to mention refreshed. TOMORROW"S GOING TO BE A BETTER DAY!!!!
heheheh
i remember this conversation when i was talkin to mum on the phone
mum: you ah...better eat the medicine.... and sleep early!!!
ren: yes yes...i've been sleeping early what! er...before 12 these few days
(in the background i heard drew/ivan say "LIAR") --> hope mum didn't hear that...hahaha
okay time to go...and time to stop reading blogs, unless i need one of them for my assignments *looks away innocently* WHEEE!!!!!!
~wishes upon a star, ***renzi (it's 2.01am....well it's 12 over in spore!!!)
oops..the quality is crap but it's better than nothing. i've no scanner...so i used my digicam...hehehe the first photo said it all...we were so blur, we didn't know when it was going to take us, so we weren't prepared. the second shot showed a bunch of excited kids..i like that...hahaha but we can't see much of alvina!!!
arghh..my computer's damn slowww....
renzi kissed and swore @
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peace, stability and order reigns once again!!!
hehehe guess wat i did again? i knocked on graham's door, warned him and with precision and accuracy, i swapped the same book at another innocent spider (with alvina behind me cheering me on) wHEEEEEeee...
i hate spidersss....
It just occured to me that what i hate, or find crucial may be deemed as insignificant or frivolous to others. And each of us have our own insecurities and these insecurities lead to various actions like hate, dislike or even escapism. Take my dislike/hate for spiders, i feel severely handicapped and even insecure when they are around. I always picture the spider pouncing on me, sapping me to death (tats one worst-case scenario that keeps recurring when i am about to kill a spider and i would like to blame it on that incredulous show, Arachnophobia) and what do i do about it? I kill the damn thing.
Same thing goes for our lives in general. fuck what others think (think graham thinks i'm crazy to kill that creature). Er tat's one thing but ALSO, what are we going to do with our insecurities? Shove them aside? Pray for the best? Or deal with it?
These insecurities will haunt you if you decide to avoid the issue. Like for the simple example of my fear of spiders. If i leave it alone, it may breed and argh! i shudder to even think of what would happen if there were more of its friends.
Dealing with our insecurities would help, to a certain extent. I'm not saying that once you learn to deal with your insecuritites, you'd be free from them. What i'm saying is, dealing with them will allow you to deal with yourself. Insecurities are part of our lives and it will always plague us, but ridding a few insecurities from the list of these enemies will make us feel better, and even more confident.
*disclaimer...well hahaha dealing with your insecurities also would have its repercussions as well. (Jus like dealing with anything in life...), well like when i kill the spider, i get a sense of guilt for just a few seconds, and the guilt leads to...fear that more spiders would come to avenge their friend's death..aikz...yeap....so just be prepared for any consequences for anything that you do. =)
did i make sense there? =) hehehe
renzi kissed and swore @
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having my lunch right now
yumm...porridge...glad my appetite is getting better.. wheee...
dum dee dum...
i can't wait to recover, so i can exercise and get more work done...
i can't wait...to get back and start working...
i can't wait... =)
renzi kissed and swore @
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i'm feeling better i guess?
hahah jus did a chapter for PR. and today's my last day to read blogs *crosses fingers* i shall not be tempted, i shall not be tempted... i shall remind myself that. =) just like how i placed a post-it note in my desktop saying "DO THE FUCKING ESSAY". reminders like that slap you. that's good i feel. i shall put more of such notes on my desktop *eagerly puts a post-it note in her brain*
did i ever mention that i have a memory of a goldfish? mann..that's why i can't do well in exams damn it! it sounds like excuses but it's TRUE!!! i can't remember things for nuts! well i always remember unnecessary things. damn! how do i channel these blocks of useless info positively?
bleah...
i'm rambling again but oh well. i have this feeling that my aunt is going to come over to pass me stuff to eat. yummm i think i'm regaining my appetite...WHEE!!! that's one item that i can strike off in my why-i-feel-like-fuck list(^^^)... =) yay! i mean i ate a little bit more for breakfast than yesterday. =)
hmm i am getting a little hungry...so YAY!!! hahahah but my stomach's flat right now. i like it tat way but oh well...when i start eating again...it'll bulge out again...bleah...i need to start running soon!!!! stupid cough and flu. )@(#(*$&*@(&#@
something occured to me just now...you know some ppl don't swear with words like FUCK or...hmmm i can't tink of anything more vulgar than small phrases/words like fuck...er...ji bai?? well....they still use words like friggin and shit...well isn't that also swearing..?? hahha i mean it's just a substitution of words, the meaning is still there wat.... =)
oh well...i'm prob jus trying to make myself feel better. i shall set a goal for myself...NO SWEARING FOR TODAY!!!! =) i shall see whether that works...
i shall gargle my mouth with listerine or was it colgate? AHHH watever.... because i drank honey...and i dun like the aftertaste of food and anything sweet/bitter/sour that i have drunk...bleah!
=p
time to head on out of here...MORE WORK BECKONS! argh!!!
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 11.37am)
(^^^)- i'm feeling so much betta after almost 4 hours of stoning on my bed; 3 hours of talking on the phone with ken; 2 hours of doing nothing...and 1/2 hour of chatting with aaron, karen and derong...wheee!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, October 22, 2004
i still feel like fuck...
i feel like fuck because...
1) SM couldn't make it for the meeting, and no one told me. Whatever reason she has given, my being sick should be as legitimate as hers. decency to call? HELLO????
2) we didn't have no fucking echo meeting
3) i'm still fucking sick... i walked all the way to school, feeling feverish and stuff....
4) i'm feeling miserable. it felt like the other time when i went for a mission trip to yangon and i was ill there. i felt horrid. now i feel the same. i'm feeling cold then suddenly i feel hot. fuck man.
5) i still have a terrible headache, since like 3 hours ago. argh
6) i have no appetite whatsoever...
7) i have bad nights now..can't sleep properly
8) stupid PR lecturer, that ass btw, still hasn't gotten back to me...
do i need any more fucking reasons?
i'm sick so i can whine, i'm a gal so i can be a bitch sometimes. if u're pissed, sue me
fuck man.
~wish upon the fucking star, ***renzi (it's 7.33pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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i feel like fuck...
yeap...flu...hay fever, whatever...it's making me feel like crap. hahha man! haven't had this shitty feeling in ages, not that i'm asking and hoping for it. bahhh
i'm done with my first draft of my essay. it's still very raw. and hope i can get it done on sunday. i shall start studying soon...WHEE! OMGosh!!! i sound like a nerd..sniff sniff....
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 4.52pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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i'm still sick
bahh...i'm prob staying at home to get work done because... i still have to finish up my virtual cultures essay which is due on monday. guess wat? it's worth 50 friggin percent! argh...i better not screw up this one.
anyway i'm still feeling cold, although my heater's switched on and my whole body's still aching. i'm quite glad i didn't make my way to berwick. i think i would faint or something. aikz.
cold colddd....brrr....
ok...time to go.... ohhh....
i shall turn off my computer and rest for a while before i start finish up the essay (i hope i'm not out of point) and hahah i shall stop reading blogs once i finish the essay. i'll only resume reading blogs after my two papers...hard? we shall see....
before i go...
here's a photo/evidence of my accomplice killing the poor spider...wheee
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, October 21, 2004
me is sicker.... me is sicker...
i feel worse. this feeling is torturous. bahh my body's slightly achy. and my body's not responding to the medicine. hahah speaking of the medicine, it's 1.5 years old since they were prescribed to me. it consists of the phlegm, flu pills and antibiotics. hope it still works. aikz...
think i'll take the fever medicine before i go to bed.
oh shit. i still have to go for dinner tomorrow, i mean not shit shit, but very bad timing. we're finally going for dinner. guess i can't miss that. if someone doesn't turn up i'll be fucking cross.
anyway i'm going to get some work done before...i try to sleep again.
hope i regain my appetite tomorrow. i had a slice of apple for dinner because i had to eat medicine. aikz.!!!
okok..time to go...bleah...
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 10.24pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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me is sick...me is sick...
sigh..i didnt expect myself to be sick now. hahaha to think i was thinking a while back that i haven't been sick in aus since last year .tsk me and my big mouth, er..brain? hahaha
i'm waitin for alv to come back so i can grab the losengees that i passed the her the other day.
after friday i shall eat my medicine and get well! =p
hmm... tired...sleepi...i shall take a nap...
argh...no appetite...bleah... had the soup and two cookies that we baked yestday...i tink they are very heaty but no appetite for anything...hahaha
hmm....goin to rest for a while before i go straight into my essay...dummm...
renzi kissed and swore @
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argh~
argh...i'm coughin even more now and i've got prob a ton of phlegm in my lungs. argh!! and still some stubborn part of me refuses to eat medicine at the point of time (actually i dunno wat to eat). i tink i'm down with the flu because my nose was leaking yesterday. BAHHH
but i shall not eat any medicine until i finish my assignment. that 1) will spur me on to finish up the assignment that i've been running away from 2) will make me rest properly after the assignment, then with the medicine, i'll be on the road to recovery baby! wheeeeee!
did i mention that i cleaned up my room yestrday? i felt it was so dusty and it could attribut to my poor health so...heheh at 11+pm i took the vacumn cleaner and cleaned all signs (yeap i could actually see dust particles flying around...and LUMPS of dust...bleah... ) of dust. bahh...at this point of time i really missed my maid. hahaha
okay renee...one more book to go...and compiling can begin...finish up the damn essay!!!!!!
ohh .... does honey and lemon really work? i'm trying it now since we have the luxury of a bald lemon..hehe =)
~wish upon a star, *renzi* (it's 9.43am)
think i'm coughing so much that i'm going to have abs....WHEE!!!! hahaha.... let me have my fun here... i'm deprived
renzi kissed and swore @
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are you dumb...are u dumb????
well challenge yourself and take this simple quiz =) GO GO!!! check it out! hahahahha
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004
my lecturer is an ass
bloody hell...i feel so cheated.
my stupid lecturer/tutor, malcolm, asked us to show him our study file today. this study file here is worth 10% and what we were supposed to do is to compile all lecture notes, tutorial notes and miscellaneous info/sheet (that we think is useful for our subject) and put it into the file.
guess wat? this guy, joel in my tut, passed malcolm the file and it was such a thin file and he got a bloody HD+....mine was prob better than his becayse it was thicker...(okay....it's not ONLY because it's thick....) ...MINE HAD FUCKIN SUBSTANCE....heh i went through almost the whole textbook, made notes, made ADDITIOnal notes for the lecture, and guess what? he gave me a HD. okok...that's nothing. there were a couple of girls who didn't bring their files and he said "oh it's ok. i trust you gals" and gave them A FUCKING HD damn it!
there is not justice i tell you. it's plain and simple.....it's friggin biasness. whattt....trust is everything??? what happened to ppl who put in the effort like me?????? it's unfair i tell you...
fuck...
jus like my other ppers...tot i put in effort...but all i got are Cs and Ps...bleah. and for a piece that i didn't really put in any effort, i got a HD.... *perplexed*
what the...???
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 12.14am)
didn't do much other than sulk over that old bastard. oh and i did some more grocery shopping. you should see how we waddled to the train station with heaps of groceries to take a cab. hahahah =p i wish i had a car...sigh
renzi kissed and swore @
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borreeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnngggggggg
this is a waste of time....in class now
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
something interesting happened to me today...welllllllllll
today as i was preparing to take my usual shower, as i was taking off my clothes, as i was goin to walk into the shower, i saw, to my utmost horror, two pairs of eyes staring straight at my direction!!! i almost froze to the ground but i plucked up enough courage to rise to the occasion and take things into my hands. i stormed into my room to pick up any accessible weapon and ran back into the bathroom. i crouched and waited, like a tiger to a prey, finally it was the right time. WHAM! i hit the damn bloody spider, with much precision i must add, and it was crushed to bits. oops..the poor library book. BUT YEAH!!! Victory to mankind!!!!!!!!!
hahahah....tat's for invading my privacy, and that's for creeping towards my clothes. i had to do something! no way will i let any creature crawl into my clothes! that's cruelty to humans!
hahaha
think i scared graham and germaine with the loud thud because i created a loud noise when i smashed the damn thing. errr.... think it startled them. hehehe germaine even wanted to rush in to see whether i fainted. hehehhe oops...
okayzz...time to change. i was too excited to even change. i wanted to pen this downnn..hehehe =) shitt..i'm sneexing alreadyyyy...argh!
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 7.17pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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bored...
in the muiss lounge right now. i know i should be doing work but i'm slacking hhahaha....hmmm reminder for renee
- call this dude called aaron
- tok to raymond
- eat lunch..hahaha
ohh i must mention that alvina made me breakfast today...sooo sweeeeettttt....
~wish upon a star, ***renzi (it's 12.46pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, October 18, 2004
having difficulty breathing now...bleah
stupid sickness..making me feel a little breathless...maybe its a good idea that i am not going to exercise today...ulgh...never felt like this for such a long time. thank god for my inhaler...argh...
stupid phelgm...stupid flu...stupid cough...argh!
i shall rest for a while before doing my work...was tinking of doing some work..argh
renzi kissed and swore @
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bored
staying at home is a bad idea. firstly, i dun get work done, secondly i procrastinate..wait tat's the same damn meaning. yeah! and i jus feel unmotivated. my bed's just next to me and it's calling out to meeeeee damnit.
tomorrow i shall go to the library. anyway i have classes so .... argh! classes! i just realised tomorrow i'm getting back my other essay. argh! another blow i tell you. aikz!!!! me is drowning..HELPPPPPP...
okayzzz.. heheh i shall laze around some more and after another SATC video clip i shall get down to studyin...maybe if i feel much better i shall go to the gym tomorrol. i will call charms n daryl! =)
~WISH UPON A STAR, ***RENzi (oops...caps there....it's 3.51pm)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, October 17, 2004
retarded quiz
whoever makes quizzes with 3 bloody questions? tsk...
this is for fun nonetheless...
Do you think u just feel lonely? You dont love them
and you probably dont even fancy them. I think
your a little confused its probably just your
hormones! Keep this one as a friend.
*Are You in Love?*
brought to you by
